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502 // let all be forgiven...

Sometimes when I'm trying to sleep and can't stop thinking, I feel like all these thoughts and anxieties are suffocating me and like some day I'll drown in my own insecurities. And I get this feeling even when I think about such mundane things, such as what I'd get for a tattoo and where. At first nothing comes to mind. And then an idea I once had floats in, and then after picturing it more start pouring in and then I start thinking of other things that I've once thought of having inked on me and discarded and think how maybe I should read those things again and suddenly I am thinking too much and can't stop and my heart is racing and I can't stop thinking.

Simple things. There should be simple thoughts but there aren't.

493 // let me take you.. on a journey...

Irving on the Fourth; crop & b/w

Going through a ridiculous backlog of photos, and this is one I've been wanting to share for awhile.

For some reason, whenever we pass a gas station in the middle of nowhere late at night, I find it really visually pleasing. It is like an oasis of light in a sea of darkness, and it always seems so safe.


I've been missing for awhile, but I feel this really strong urge to write this down.

First, go listen/watch this YouTube video: Adele - 'Rolling in the Deep'. I've heard the song a few times on the radio, but always in random snippets, but after hearing Glee's cover I found out who it was truly by and heard the whole track.

Honestly, I'm amazed by this track. Her voice is just so fucking full and soulful. I expected her to be a curvy black woman, a la Ella Fitgerald. In a world where 95% of the shit on the radio is awful, auto-tuned bullshit, it is extremely refreshing to hear someone truly singing. Even just the background stuff: the drums, the piano... it is such an earworm. It just pulls you in.

And to be frank, I'm so damn happy she is not skinny. She is a curvaceous and full woman, and I'm absurdly happy about it. When I first watched the video eight or nine listens ago, my jaw pretty much dropped when I saw her. She is real, and she is bigger like I am, and my god she is beautiful and has an amazing voice.

I had to say all that. I'm gonna listen to this track one more and then play some Portal, and maybe write more in here soon. I'm trying to change, for the better, and I want that to be written out so I remember why I'm doing it.



LEDs = awesome.


aug 1

I'm still here. I'm still alive. I'm still reading.

I'm still not going to school in the fall.
I'm still working at a job I hate.
I'm still trying to save up for a car.
I'm still trying to stop being such a mess.
I'm still trying to not hate myself.

Trying trying trying.

And maybe succeeding?

465 // IT'S A FINE DAY...


It has been awhile, I know, but I'd like everyone's help with something.

I finally got hosting for my website and I just finished playing with the site builder squarespace.com offers. If people are bored or curious or like critiquing things or whatever, please check it out and tell me what you think?


It is still very simple, but I'll be using the main page slash blog thing on there to update and let people know when I have new photos on Flickr or if I have a new project I am working on or things of that general nature. I just finished playing with it a few minutes ago and would love people to give me some feedback :)
I have finally gotten around to showing you all my Project 365 photos in an organized fashion. This will updated as often as I can, and I will continue adding on the new months for as long as I can go for. Technically, my "year" goes from 06/20/07 to 06/20/08, but I am going to keep taking a photo a day for as long as I can until I miss a day.


* month grid + idea + camera icon from the lovely sprytaen
** This hasn't been updated in awhile 'cause I fail :x


Intermediate Photo: Self Portraits

The wall for my second Intermediate Photography project.

Self portraits. Eight 8x10" glossy fiber base prints.

397 // RAVE HISTORY...

My list of raves that I've gone to and photographed is starting to get a bit long, and it feels really pretentious to have it all listed out in my forum signatures, so I will instead list it here, and will update this entry every so often as I attend and photograph more parties.


The List...Collapse )

Tiny 202: Aaron Liberator - Blurred.



I'm still here, hanging in there.

Winter has me destroyed, to the point of the stupidest, tiniest things making me cry.
It drives me nuts and makes me feel really fucking stupid and useless and weak.